I can imagine the shock that parents are feeling right now, knowing that the weight of their children’s education, temporarily, lies on their own shoulders, in the midst of this quarantine. I am in a state of disbelief myself that they closed schools, and we don’t even use them. I’ve just never imagined something like this happening in my life time, and I’m sure that many are feeling the same. So, now that you are responsible for all of this, how are you going to survive your kids being home with you all day? How will you get them to do their work, from home? How will you get anything else done? I remember too well the feeling, myself. “What am I doing? I’m not a teacher. I don’t know how to do this. My kids barely even listen to me. I must have lost my mind.”
I lived in fear of waking up, one day, to a closet full of checkered prairie dresses and denim clad robot like children tossing seed to chickens in the backyard. We didn’t have a backyard then. We do now, and also a few chickens, but the children have grown into amazing, free thinking, well mannered, well educated young men, who are an absolute joy to us, and make us proud to be their parents, daily. No robots here.
If you are floundering at the idea of helping your kids learn at home, remember first that you are helping them learn. The bulk of responsibility for their education still falls on them. You will facilitate from the sidelines but it’s still, ultimately, between your child and his/her teacher. Keeping this in mind will take a load off of you, help you stay calm, and make you a better helpmate to your child and his teachers.
Here’s a few tips that may help you survive this quarantine with your beloved kiddos:
Wake Up Before Everybody Else
This is the most important thing you can do for yourself. It is so important to give yourself at least an hour or two in the morning, to drink your coffee, make a list of your goals and plans for the day, work out, eat a good breakfast. Take care of yourself first. This is a non-negotiable, in my house. This is not selfish. It is absolutely necessary to surviving this. Your day will get so hectic. You will need this. Please. Do it.
Get Fully Dressed Every Single Morning.
Yes it can be jeans and a t-shirt. No yoga pants, unless you are actually doing yoga, then yes, of course. Then..get out of them, and into something better. Do not fall into the trap. I’m not saying this to be shallow. Four days of sitting around in yoga pants reading, will have me in a deep depressive state, like nothing else on earth. Again, it’s about self care. Do your hair and makeup (mostly for moms…but, if that’s your thing Dad, you go.) like you are going somewhere. Yes, I know that you are not. That’s the point of a quarantine. Get ready anyway. Take lots of pictures with your kids, the dog, whatever. Play outside in the yard, if you have one. Walk the dog, if you can. Stay as active as this quarantine will allow. Stay out of public though.
Set Very Clear Boundaries At The Outset.
Because you are a parent first, any kid in his/her right mind is going to try to get around you on this school from home deal. You must be clear from the outset that it’s not going to happen. It all begins with this principle: Less talk, more action. Do Not give more than one warning. Do not beg your child to do what he or she is supposed to. One chance. That’s it. I know that this seems counter to my usual free range, democratic, hippie parenting style, but you first have to set up respect…then you can give them freedom. If they are defying you at first, give them loving consequences. No shouting, begging, wheedling, bribing. Just calm, clear appropriate consequences. No extremes. For my kids, this meant losing video game/youtube time, for that day. No gaming with friends online, no making videos with friends…nada. Keep in mind, during this social distancing, it’s their lifeline to the outside world. You should only have to do this once. It works.
Accommodate Your Child’s Learning Style as Much As Possible.
I know, I know, this seems impossible when you have more than one at home. Trust. I know. I had four that I was schooling from home. Take this time to really get to know them. Not who you think they should be, not who the school tells you they are, but them. Who they want to be. Who they are, right this minute. Then help them develop that character. Meet them where they are. Help them feel heard, and seen. What kids want most, is to be approved of. By you. They know more about themselves right now than you ever will. Trust this. Don’t tell them who they are, let them tell you, and go with it. Use this information to help them craft their dream life, not yours. Use fun tools, like board games, with little ones especially, to spend time, and get to know them better, while they are learning new skills. Find their level, and go there. Build with them. Bake with them. Read with them.
Give Them The Why.
When children truly understand the why of education, they become willing participants, as opposed to feeling as though they are being forced to do something that they don’t want to do. This helps to create a harmonious home, which is crucial when you are all together. All. Day. Long. Remind them, often, that they are doing this for their own future gain. Not for you, not for their teacher, but for themselves. Keep their eyes on their own life goals. Many times children feel as though they are just slogging through hours and hours of unnecessary work, for no other reason than somebody told them to. Of course they want to rebel. They need to see the path to their own goals. Add plenty of time for exploration into their day. Help them connect the dots.
Take Plenty of Brain Breaks.
You will all need them. You, more than the kids, if you are, at all, like me. Do some work. Grab a snack. Play a little. Do some more work. You are not at public school. Play by your own rules, as much as possible. Enjoy the freedom of it. Read, in front of them. Make lists. Show your children good learning habits, and good life habits. Lead by example.
Exercise.
Get as much exercise as this quarantine will allow. You are all going to need to blow off steam. Eat healthy, stay active. Exercise indoors. Exercise outdoors, if you have the space at home. Get out in nature, or bring nature indoors. Just stay active and connected.
Get Fresh Air, Often.
If you live out a ways, open your windows, let some cool, fresh air into your home. It’s cleansing. Let the sunlight in. Find some positive. Have a picnic in the backyard. With the kiddos, or by yourself, when you need a break. Try to add little luxuries to each day. For the kids and, for yourself.
Watch For The Up All Night Trap.
As any homeschooling parents learns, right quick, if you give them too much freedom, they will immediately abuse it. You guessed it. By staying up all night long. Doing what, you might ask? Right, again. Playing video games. The bane of every parents existence. Do yourself a favor and have them sign in their devices at night. For the love of all that’s holy, take the devices, after 9:00 p.m. Set clear rules and regulations, around video games from the start, or you will live to regret it. There is not much, more horrible, in this world, than having a full day of schoolwork to complete, with snotty, exhausted, miserable kids, who were up all night gaming with their friends online, while you truly believed that they were sound asleep. Turds. My kids are huge gamers. I can see the educational merit in quite a few video games, truly. We use tons of games for learning. They are a valuable learning tool, when used properly. I am not anti-video game, but they do not replace a solid education. That being said, there are so many great games online to help you through this trying time…which brings me to my next point.
Use Tech. Use Tech. Use tech.
There are so many great companies right now, trying to help parents through this. Get audio books, online. Use Amazon, Internet Archives. Project Gutenberg & Barnes & Noble, for free reading material. Tour Museums, from the comfort of your living room. Use the Smithsonian Websites, College websites, NASA, and the Space Center websites. Get access to as much info, online, as you and your children can absorb. Youtube has tons, and tons, of great fun educational videos. Do STEM/STEAM projects. Think outside the box. You will be amazed at what your children find fascinating and you may even end up learning a bunch, from them.
I hope this list helps you view your quarantine in a better light. I hope, as well, that you will take this unique opportunity to get to really know your children , and enjoy every minute spent with them. The most important thing to remember is your first job is to be a parent, then an educational facilitator, and to remember that this is a temporary assignment, that can turn out to be some of your best memories made, with your children. As mothers, we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, with everything. This just isn’t possible. All you can do is keep your goals in the forefront, take plenty of breaks, and keep your expectations of yourself, realistic. Take care of yourselves, and thanks for reading.
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