Self Care Motivation. Find It and Keep It.

I sometimes get questions from people, who are struggling, asking me how I find the motivation. For the bigger things such as eating well, as a rule, or sticking to a fitness routine; but also

I sometimes get questions from people, who are struggling, asking me how I find the motivation. For the bigger things such as eating well, as a rule, or sticking to a fitness routine; but also the little things, like throwing on makeup, and getting out of my yoga pants. 😉 This always surprises me a little because I don’t think of myself as someone who always has their stuff together. (I spend my fair share of time in yoga pants.) I think of myself as someone who is always striving to get my stuff together. The reason I do these things daily is because I enjoy them. They make me feel like I have my stuff together.

Photo by Brodie Vissers from Burst

If I wake up, have coffee, work out, and start my day with a healthy meal choice, I feel like I’ve already won today. The rest of the day breezes by. That’s not to say that there aren’t any struggles, but I feel prepared to handle those struggles. If I wake up, have coffee, rush out the door without my self care routine, my whole day is a disaster. That sounds melodramatic, but it’s actually not. Everything in my day will be a little bit off, and I will struggle throughout the entire day. The reason for that is, my self care routine grounds me. I find strength in it. It’s routine. It’s necessary. It’s what taking decent care of myself means to me. Taking an hour in the morning to get myself together.

Photo by Brodie Vissers from Burst

I remember when my kids were all under 10, and in public school, that feeling of the sky falling, if I dropped the ball, on anything. It’s no joke. It will land on the mother. That’s why mothers are so intent on doing everything perfectly. You know it will land on you. It does. Kid makes a mistake? It lands on you. Spouse makes a mistake? It lands on you. I can go on and on about the injustice of this, and I do, but it hasn’t changed anything yet. It’s no wonder we never feel like we can take a minute for ourselves. We already know who’s going to pay for it. But it’s OK.

People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Nobody can be perfect all of the time. You will make mistakes. People will make comments. Mothers are now stretched so thin, that they can’t possibly meet all the demands on them, without occasionally making a mistake. But you still have to make time for yourself. I don’t, necessarily, mean days at the spa, or 12 hr. shopping sprees, these things are fun, and occasionally necessary, but they are not going to help you achieve a daily self care routine that helps you shape your best self, over time. For me, it’s more about checking in with myself every morning, making sure I’m eating well, moving often, setting goals, attaining a level of personal and career growth that I am happy with, while taking care of my family, to the best of my ability.

If I take my top priorities and break them down here I’ll end up with these five, in this order :

  • Family/Relationships
  • Career/Education
  • Health
  • Financial Health
  • Home (organization & cleaning routines)

But when I schedule my day it looks more like this:

  • Wake up & Caffeinate.
  • Morning Workout.
  • Breakfast Smoothie.
  • Make daily work lists, school agendas, schedules, goals, charts.
  • Manage household accounts, (lists, schedules, meal plans.)
  • Get ready for day (shower, brush teeth, hair,makeup, etc)
  • Make healthy breakfast for kiddos.
  • Start their schoolwork. (ex. book work, writing projects, art projects, stem etc.)
  • Complete my own work. (ex. soaping, writing, designing labels, building blogs, etc.)
  • Break for healthy lunch.
  • Clean up from lunch.
  • Finish afternoon work. (Both, kids & I.) Sometimes we take this on the road, through tech, because we have errands and appointments.
  • Cleanup from school.
  • Get some time outside.
  • Start dinner.
  • Dinner time.
  • Clean up from dinner.
  • Put house to rights for next day.
  • Try to get some more work done.
  • Get ready for next day. (check for appts. organize papers, make lists., charge devices, plan meals, etc.)

I need to fit each priority in the space that makes the most sense with my scheduled day. If I don’t get my workout in directly after coffee, it’s just not going to happen because my day gets hectic as soon as the small one’s feet hit the floor. I need to fuel up on a quick, high energy breakfast (why I choose smoothies) immediately after or I’m probably not going to get breakfast at all. Next, I take a minute and start planning my day. I usually do this standing up, guzzling a bit more coffee, while I work. I quickly jot down all of the necessary tasks to accomplish first so I have a master list, of sorts. If I get through that before anyone wakes up, then I break the tasks down further, into a more detailed list, that I can check against, throughout the day. Once everyone is up, clean, and fed, we all get to our respective jobs, and work independently until lunch, with the kids, taking occasional direction from me. After lunch we clean up quickly, regroup, and finish up our work. Once the schoolwork/my work is done for the day, I try to send everybody off for at least a half hour so I can just breeeathe, for a minute, and maybe grab a cup of green tea ( or more coffee).

Photo by Tamara Chemij from Burst

Then it’s time to clean up our papers, notebooks, supplies, laptops etc, put them away, ideally, until the next day, and prepare for dinner. This is usually a much bigger ordeal than it has to be, because I love to teach the boys how to prepare different healthy meals, and they will often join in, which is really fun, but also messy. So, of course I could do it much faster, not to mention neater, alone, but where’s the fun in that? After dinner, we do another quick clean through, and set up for the next day. By this time, everyone is so sick of looking at each other 😉 that we all go find something quiet to do. Alone. Books, video games, writing. This is where I may try to get a little more work in. If I’m just completely over working for the day, I may do some drawing, painting, reading, or just stretching, to decompress, which I also consider part of a great self care routine.

Photo by Matthew Henry from Burst

Self care is going to look different to you, depending on what your priorities are. Only you can decide what takes the top five spots in your life. The only way to find time for the important things is to let go of the things that are not so important. When you have decided which things are most important, create a schedule that allows you to incorporate them into your life daily. Feel free to start small, adding in one thing at a time each month until your are giving your full attention to the things that matter most to you. Before you know it, you will be living your best life, full of authenticity and self-motivation.

What tips do you have for staying motivated every day? Feel free to leave them in the comments. I can be found on insta@canigetaramen, & on pinterest and FB @ canigetaramen.food.blog. Thanks for reading!

A Perfect Day.

I love birthdays. I love planning parties, all the food preparation, baking the cake, the decorating. Selecting just the right gift, I love it all. When my husband and I first had children, he just didn’t get why I needed to do all of these things. He tolerated it, but, just didn’t quite get it. The boys, of course, loved it when they were young, and now that they are older, I’m pretty sure, they still tolerate the fussing, because it makes me happy.

I love birthdays. I love planning parties, all the food preparation, baking the cake, the decorating. Selecting just the right gift, I love it all. When my husband and I first had children, he just didn’t get why I needed to do all of these things. He tolerated it, but, just didn’t quite get it. The boys, of course, loved it when they were young, and now that they are older, I’m pretty sure, they still tolerate the fussing, because it makes me happy. When they were younger, I even took some cake decorating classes with my, then, bestie. She rocked it, I on the other hand did not. I was so disappointed. I really wanted to get good at decorating cakes. I had taught myself to make all sorts of chocolates, truffles, bon-bons, fudge, sponge candy, but I just could not figure out cakes. Eventually, my life took a different direction, we moved across the country, and I put all of that behind me, and turned to soap making for a hobby/business instead. Since we lived in Florida, things that melt easily, just didn’t seem like a practical hobby. Now that I am back in the northeast, I, once again, have a yen to tackle this cake decorating business, and have been working on improving. I signed up for Bluprint.com and have found the videos there to be comprehensive, very easily understood, and easy to follow along, at my own pace. I have learned more, from watching videos on bluprint, than I ever did in cake decorating class. Which brings me to Saturday. It happened to be my birthday, and my darling husband wanted to do something special for me. Apparently, my penchant for over the top birthdays has rubbed off on him over the years. He decided that he wanted to make me a cake, which he’s never done before, and cook an elaborate meal, which he has, also, never done before. So, we got up and went to the farmer’s market, the last one of the year, here. Immediately, my control freak tendencies appeared, and since this was his show, not mine, he sent me to Sephora, while he went shopping for the rest of the list. This man knows me. The easiest way to distract me is to say “go to Sephora and buy whatever you want.” So, I did.

I love Sephora. My favorite way to spend my birthday is pure self indulgence, with a bit of pampering. Getting a makeover, being taught all about the newest products available, and of course, picking up my Sephora birthday gift is absolutely perfect, in my opinion. If you are not yet a Beauty Insider, sign up! It is a little bit of guaranteed indulgence, on your birthday, every year! Who doesn’t want that? It is also, a tiny reminder, to look, at another oncoming year, as an opportunity to improve, grow, and embrace life. At least, that’s how I look at it. The ladies who work at our Sephora in our town, are so lovely. Each time you shop there, you come out of the experience, happier than when you went in. So, when I told the lovely ladies that I was turning 44, and wanted to learn how to tweak my look, update it, and improve my makeup application skills, they jumped right in to help.

I can never tell, exactly, what my skin tone is without help. Right now, it’s in transition from a year round Florida tan, back to my natural, white, white complexion, and I am just not adept at deciding what colors are flattering on me. This was the first problem that I brought to them. Well, if you haven’t been into Sephora to get a color match done, drop everything and go. This is the best my foundation has looked. Ever. Problem number, 2? I can’t stand to feel foundation on my skin. Solution? It Cosmetics CC Cream. I had, of course, heard all about it, but had yet to try it. It has a SPF of 50, and an added anti-aging serum. You seriously can’t even feel in on your skin. This was a total win, as far as I’m concerned.

Last, but not least, I was clueless, as to what eyeshadow colors are best for my coloring. Answer: blue eyes look great against gold, hence, The Urban Decay Naked Palette in Honey, is ideal for me. I haven’t used eyeshadow with sparkle for years, because when done poorly, it can make you look decades older. I didn’t want to purchase a palette with tons of sparkle, because I knew I wouldn’t use it. The lovely ladies, understood my position, and because there are five sparkly colors in this palette, showed me how to use them sparingly, with just a dab on the inside corner of the lid. It really makes the eyes pop, and I really did miss wearing a little bit of sparkle on the eyes. It makes makeup feel fun again. Here, is the final result of my sephora makeover. I’m struggling to get used to my skin looking so white, but I’m adjusting, and relearning how to apply makeup to suit it.

Could have used some eyebrows, maybe?

I had a great time, learning how to better apply my makeup, and learning what colors suit me best. Here’s a look at my total Sephora birthday haul: (Also known as, the price a husband will pay to get some peace. 😉

I bought the It Cosmetics CC Cream, The urban Decay Eyeshadow Palettte in Honey, and Bare Minerals Blush In Gen Nude. For my Beauty Insider birthday gift, I chose the Drunk Elephant Set, and used my BI points to nab the Versace Bright Crystal Sample, the Bare Minerals Patent Lip Lacquer, and Sugar Advanced Therapy Lip Treatment. Self-Birthday gifts don’t get much better than that.

After meeting up again, with Darling Hubs, we headed back home and I made myself scarce for a while, so he could work some kitchen magic with out my nosing input. This was not the easiest thing in the world for me. I struggle to share my kitchen with others. As I had earlier mentioned, I love to bake cakes. Knowing that he was baking, without me, was difficult, so I sort of, nagged him, into letting me decorate the cake a bit myself. I had just bought new Russian frosting tips, that I have barely had the chance to try out. That kept me occupied enough, prepping frosting and the like, that he could finish making dinner, alone. If you, like me, love decorating cakes, but, maybe, are not so stellar at it, yet, these frosting tips will make you feel fairly competent. I bought a set from Amazon, and truly love them. Of course, I have a very long way to go, in learning how to use them. When, I do master them, I will try to do a teaching post on them. In the meantime, you can find videos on YouTube, Bluprint, Craftsy, etc.

I wish I had taken photos of the truly, wonderful, whole wheat pasta dish, that hubs made for me. Scallops, simmering in lemon, butter garlic sauce. It was absolutely delicious. We’ve been married for 23 years, and I had no idea, that he could cook like that. I was truly impressed. But, best of all, was this cake.

White Chocolate Raspberry Cake. So delicious.

He made a white chocolate cake, with raspberry filling. I am considering recruiting him to fill all of my cake pans, because my cakes never come out this level. I put the flowers on top, but never had such an easy time with it, because the cake was just so level. Not to mention delectable. He knows that I am trying to watch my cholesterol, so he used avocado plant butter in place of oil, and duck egg whites, in place of the whole eggs, and it made the most amazing fluffy white cake. White chocolate raspberry is my favorite flavor combination, in just about any pastry. This was just the most exquisite cake. Added to this, he kept the coffee flowing, and did all of the clean up. I just didn’t know what to do with myself. No cooking or cleaning, for an entire day. After dinner, and cake, with the kids, we went out for a couple of drinks and a very low key, relaxing evening. All in all, a perfect day. What I cherish the most, is how much thought and effort Hubs put into this day, for me. Being that we are parents of four, we rarely have time to focus, completely on each other, for more than an hour or so at a time. As they get older, of course, this lessens, but for now, we take what we can get. And appreciate every minute.

No romance with this kid around…

How about you? Do you, also, love birthdays? Have you ever had someone do something special for you, unexpectedly? How do you show your appreciation, when someone does something so thoughtful for you? Let us know in the comments.